I was 9 years old when was i started caring what i looked like. A disastrous attempt with a relaxer left me with a mini bald patch somewhere in my hair. I was the small new kid in the class and i let one too many people bother me about it.
11 when i wanted so badly to be loved back by my cousin. My first major crush, I was not only consumed with the idea of being with him but also excited that i discovered and owned these feelings and could do whatever i wanted with them
15 when i discovered confidence and especially that my legs were hot.
18 when i first got properly kissed, He was cute, pink lipped and had hair i could run my fingers through. Not a bad introduction to one of God's little miracles
19 when i found love..An amazing journey
Somewhere in life i discovered i was capable of allot of things. many good but lots of bad too. Things some men would call silly and others out-rightly evil. Taking responsibility for my feeling and actions is still a major part of growing up for me. Sometimes its hard to do that and easier to follow my passions with careless abandon but.......
This is allover the place because so is my head lately. Reading my old journals has been so interesting and i know i should keep one just so i can go back to these moments and feel these feelings but i don't trust myself to be 100% honest even on paper so i wait for when im a better version of me....
Have a lovely week people